Using NLP to Understand and Influence Others

This week, we’re very lucky to have a guest blog from Sobia Quazi, one of our NLP School alumni and coach at GoldCircle Therapy and Coaching! In this post, she talks about something that she learnt with us – how to use NLP to understand and influence. Are we ...

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Understanding Boundaries.

People behave differently under stress – some are forceful, some withdraw and others try to distract themselves. The idea of ‘boundaries’ has become increasingly used in popular psychology as a way of addressing stressful situations but it can be simplistic, with the message being that all you need to ...

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The Idea of State

Arguably learning to understand (and manage) your own state is one of the most helpful tools in personal development.You were in such a state, what a state you are in! What a fantastic state of mind. What is State? The OED defines state as “The particular condition that someone ...

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How can you avoid ‘bad’ NLP practice?

I try and avoid focusing on negative topics, but this week I want to discuss NLP ‘s reputation – both good and bad. A metaphor I use is one of martial arts. Founders of martial arts schools are often held in a certain reverence by their students. Sadly, some teachers ...

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7 Tips on How to Deal with Your Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most common problems in modern life – not just worrying about some particular thing, but a general sense of worry that won’t go away. What can you do if you experience it? Here are some suggestions… Acceptance Accept how you feel. Anxiety can ramp ...

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Rescripting – The Process

This week’s blog is about a life-changing process that I created, called Rescripting. The basic idea behind it is that successful people often have the following belief: “You can be happy and a loser, or you can be successful and stressed; you can’t have happiness and success.” The idea ...

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NLP’s going mainstream… or is it?

This week on the NLP School blog we are so lucky to have Muriel from Lumier Coaching and PPD Learning write a guest blog for us! Today she talks about how NLP has hit the mainstream... or has it?

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How can NLP help with Coaching?

In my previous blog, I talked about what coaching is and how, at a general level, it works. Now I want to be more specific, and look at the relationship between coaching and NLP, an area I have worked in for many years. I believe very strongly that both ...

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What is Coaching?

Coaching is a way of helping people deal with issues that are concerning them . It is also a way of developing people’s skills and abilities, and of boosting performance. It is done in a spirit of curiously and non-judgement and creates a safe supportive environment where people can ...

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Six routes to confidence, part two

In the first part of this post, I talked about the ‘lower’ end of the NLP Logical Levels, the light that this concept throws on the question of confidence, and how NLP can help. Now I want to move ‘up’ the levels, to more abstract ones. Remember that the ...

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Six routes to confidence, part one

I talked in the last blog about confidence and mindfulness. In the next two blogs, I’d like to go back to my roots in NLP and look at the subject through one of the most powerful conceptual tools in the NLP armoury, the Logical Levels. These were created by Robert Dilts, ...

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Examples of NLP in practice

NLP can be used everyday in practical situations; at work creating rapport with clients, in personal development by creating healthy relationships, in sales by getting a better understanding of customers issues and showing confidence. There are so many areas of life that can benefit with NLP, Robbie has outlined ...

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NLP, Charisma and “Successful” People

I’m not trying to say that you too, could have the charisma of Bill Clinton if you come on our three day NLP course. But I do find it interesting how successful people use, or have used, the skills we teach and reckon that we can all learn from them. Actually, ...

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NLP Techniques, what is the Meta Model?

What does this mean? One of the central presuppositions of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)  is that ‘the map is not the territory’. The territory is out there, we have the maps in our heads – our internal subjective experience. The maps are all subtly (or not so subtly) different, ...

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What is NLP and How did it Start?

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a set of tools for personal development, based on a study of how we access, store and express ‘information’. Much of the accessing is done via ‘filters’ that can distort reality, and the same is true for storage: what lessons do we learn and ...

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Promises to Self

New Year is traditionally a time for resolutions. It is also traditional that these don’t last very long. But we shouldn’t short-change ourselves like this. If you made a lunch date with someone, would you show up? Of course. Yet when we make commitments to ourselves, we are often ...

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Belief Change Techniques

Belief Change Techniques - Learn how our beliefs held over years often turn out to be wrong. As such, they make our world a smaller place. They are a kind of internal prison that we carry round with us, a self-imposed yoke, a limitation.

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The Levels of Learning

Students of NLP will be familiar with Robert Dilts’ ‘Logical Levels’ (also known as the Neurological Levels). I have found this incredibly useful in all sorts of ways – it’s one of those concepts that seems to shed light on almost everything.

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What is NLPU?

What is NLPU? To trace its roots fully, one has to go back to the early days of NLP, when NLPU’s founder, Robert Dilts, was a student at Santa Cruz. He attended John Grinder’s lectures on linguistics – which turned into lectures on the Meta-model – and was hooked.

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Ego and Soul

Our Dilts/Delozier NLP University certified Master Practitioner starts in London next March. It’s still a while away, but the course is so full of good stuff that I’ll be sharing some material from it from time to time in these blogs. I’m also working on my leadership book at ...

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Learning from the Best

Judy was one of the original group who worked with Richard Bandler, John Grinder and Gregory Bateson when she was a student at the University of California Santa Cruz campus, where NLP was created.

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Advisor or Decider?

Having written two books on decision making, I often wonder why this subject gets so little interest. Good decisions are the key to a successful life. So is the avoidance of bad ones, which can destroy lives – stories of which go back far into history: Napoleon’s decision to ...

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Coaching Decisions & the Impact of ‘Black Swans’

Yet their own past experience tells them that if something has created chaos in their lives, it has not been some huge threat they have been worrying about for ages, but something unexpected. As my father used to say, “Always expect something from the left field”. Planning for worst-case ...

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Is There a ‘Fifth Way’ When it Comes to Coaching?

Coaching, psychology and philosophy Philosophy has for thousands of years, asked questions. Who are we? What makes us ‘tick’? What, if anything, can be done about the more painful aspects of human nature, and what is our purpose? Early answers to the big questions All cultures seem to have ...

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Using Synergy to Build Winning Teams

Modelling is a core NLP technique, whereby you look at people you wish to emulate and ask in precise and often very detailed ways how they do what they do. I was a participant on the course when it was first run in London eleven years ago, then presented ...

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The Capability Sets of Leadership

This week I shall look at the skills behind these tasks in more detail. The capability sets of leadership My model began life in the business world. If you find the tasks a bit ‘business-y’ on first appearance, please bear with me. I have subsequently found that they actually ...

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The Four Qualities of Leadership

The four leadership qualities Today I want to look at the four qualities along the top, qualities that leaders need to bring to their work in each of the four areas: Thinking Sensing (energy) Feeling Vision Thinking is the world of the intellect, rational and dispassionate. Sensing is perhaps ...

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Coaching With Archetypes: The Different Leadership Types

The Leadership Matrix We worked with a model I have developed myself, called the Leadership Matrix (see below). Of course, I ‘stood on the shoulders of giants’ to create it. The idea of archetypes and archetypal energies has deep roots; in ancient Greek philosophy, in storytelling traditions around the ...

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What is Team Coaching in Business? How is it Done Best?

It is of particular use with international teams who meet infrequently and may have different cultures and approaches. How is team coaching in business done best? My preferred approach takes the following form: 1. The coach meets with the team leader and identifies the required outcomes and the main issues ...

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Coaching Emotions in Business – How Can You Do It?

However, it is also well known that people who repress their feelings totally can begin to behave bizarrely: this is often seen (and tolerated) in the pub or in social encounters outside the office. From the coach’s perspective, when a client has been over-stressed for some considerable time, there ...

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How to Coach Someone Who Says They Are ‘Trapped’

The model is particularly useful in testing whether a client has unwittingly trapped themselves in destructive thought patterns. How the Meta Model helps anxiety Clients are often extremely anxious, as if some major disaster is hurtling towards them. The Meta Model is often a great way to reveal the ...

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How to Use TA Drivers to Solve Boundary and Conflict Issues

Transactional analysis drivers One useful aspect of this material is TA’s concept of ‘drivers’. These are very powerful, deeply ingrained subconscious motivations that are picked up in early childhood. TA theorists believe there are five of these: ‘Hurry Up’ ‘Please People’ ‘Be Strong’ ‘Be Different’ ‘Be Perfect’ The problem ...

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The Art of Business Decision Making With NLP

It’s a subject I’m fascinated by – I’ve written two books on the subject – as the reality is much more complex than most ‘experts’ claim. The decision maker is perpetually having to strike a balance between decisiveness and subtlety. Channelling the Scarlet Pimpernel The best metaphor I can ...

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What is Mindfulness? What Are its Benefits?

In this blog I will outline some practical benefits of mindfulness for coaches and those using a coaching approach at work (with staff, clients etc). What is mindfulness? Let’s start with a definition of mindfulness. It is the practice of being aware of one’s experience in the present moment. ...

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How NLP Can Help Senior Managers Avoid Burnout

Talented people don’t just perform roles; they identify with them: “I am a manager, a leader, an accountant, a designer”. Jobs as identity Their skill, once mastered, stops being simply a competency but transcends to a higher level, that of identity. At this level, the person’s very sense of worth ...

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A Brief Introduction to Generative Coaching

Robert is the creator of many processes at the heart of modern NLP, such as the Logical Levels, Hero’s Journey and the Belief Change Cycle. He now runs and leads the teaching at NLP University in Santa Cruz. Stephen worked closely with Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnotherapy, and ...

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NLP Happiness Techniques: Proactive Happiness Training

A history of happiness Happiness has been a topic of debate since the early philosophers. Aristotle For Aristotle, writing over 2,300 years ago, it was eudaimonia, often translated as flourishing. It meant doing what you do best, doing what your natural talents and nclinations led you towards. Seligman Philosophers ...

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Our NLP Courses Are Now CPD Accredited

I found that many professionals wanted to learn NLP and coaching, but were unable to because of CPD rules. Our accreditation will now open the door to them. This represents a substantial widening of the scope of what is available to professionals. Previously they had to focus on highly ...

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How to Make a Decision Under Pressure

One aspect that particularly concerns people is having to make a decision under pressure, especially when someone is pushing them to say ‘yes’ and to do so right now! It often feels easiest to give in. Doing so is, of course, a decision in itself, though it might not feel ...

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How Can NLP Help In The Caring Professions?

We have had: Social workers Police, probation and prison officers People who work with children Drug and alcohol dependency counsellors Delegates from charities working with stroke victims and autistic people Many of these individuals arrive at the courses quite sceptical. They want new, useful tools, but they’ve tried a ...

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Can NLP Build Self Confidence?

NLP has a range of techniques to help us find out, and to boost what we find. How to regain self confidence The simplest of these is anchoring, a core NLP practice to summon up resourceful states. It’s based on our simple mammalian ability to link stimuli and responses ...

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How NLP Helps Project Managers in the Workplace

Modern management is largely about winning people round to your point of view. The old ‘command and control’ model taught on managers training courses is on the wane. An understanding of NLP for project managers will make you a 21st-century leader like Jose Mourinho – a good influencer as ...

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How I Became an NLP Coach

But here’s my story. I started out on a journey of personal discovery after finding myself stressed by running a business. This led to my studying NLP. As part of the training, I was given the opportunity to coach people and to be coached myself. It was only after ...

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Can You Hypnotise Yourself?

Hypnosis is a part of modern life In my view we spend much of our time in a light state of hypnotic trance, anyway. Some of these are pleasurable, for example when listening to a favourite piece of music or staring out of the window in a moving vehicle. ...

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What Are Values in NLP and Why Are They Important?

Robert Dilts’ Logical Levels Essentially, these levels are a tool for ‘targeting’ interventions, to help people understand where to make changes to fix a problem. Where is it best addressed? Is it just your environment? A habit you’ve picked up? A life-skill you need to learn? An unhelpful belief ...

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How Will NLP Help With My CV?

To start with, it makes a clear statement that you take the business of developing yourself seriously. It sends out the message that you are a thoughtful person, keen to become better in both your personal and professional life. Many people in HR have studied NLP, and they will ...

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Is NLP Rubbish or Real?

Here are some of the criticisms of NLP – and what I’d say in reply: “NLP is a ‘pseudo science’” NLP is sometimes accused of being a ‘pseudo-science’. However, most humanistic approaches to psychology can be, and are, criticized in the same way. But so what? The study of ...

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Can NLP Really Help You Quit Smoking?

Using Robert Dilts’ model of the Logical Levels, we can look at smoking and the various ways it exerts a hold on the psyche. The levels are: Spirit Identity Beliefs & Values Capability Behaviour Environment At one level, the smoking habit is just that – a habit, a set ...

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How to Get Over Anxiety Using NLP Techniques

What light can NLP shed on this? Perhaps the most important light is that of context. Anxiety is a state; we have other states we can choose to be in. This is not to say that we ‘should’ never be anxious: sometimes that’s a helpful response to a situation. ...

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Golf and NLP: Can You Use NLP To Improve Your Swing?

With NLP being all about mental programming, it’s not surprising that many golfers turn to the discipline for techniques to improve their performance. In this brief blog I will cover three useful ones that can help you raise your game. #1 – Positive visualisation The first is positive visualization ...

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When NLP Isn’t the Answer

Maybe some delegates are dealing with tough personal issues – troubled relationships, difficulties at work, loss of energy or self-belief. Over the year that it takes them to reach Practitioner status, most will make amazing leaps forward – it’s a real joy to see this happen, and one of ...

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How do You Know When Your Career Has Stalled?

A quick look at the real world tells us something different. Organisations – and fields of expertise – are pyramid-shaped, with a tiny top and big base. If everyone at the base is trying to get to the top, it ain’t gonna happen, however hard we all try and ...

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Which NLP Course is For You?

At NLP School, we run a range of seminars, workshops and events based on NLP, the ‘art of modelling excellence.’ NLP Taster Day Are you curious about NLP?  Our NLP Taster Day in Central London is created for people who like a no nonsense approach. Over the course of a working ...

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NLP For Dummies – The Basics

What is NLP? NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. Our brain and nervous system are programmed by the language we learnt as children. Many of our responses are unconscious or programmed, and NLP can help us to understand which programmes are positive and which are holding us back. Also, ...

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More about Stephen Gilligan’s coaching course

I wanted to combine the idea of ego states (Parent, Adult and Child) from Transactional Analysis into my practitioner course, but was concerned that it wasn’t NLP – the idea of ‘parts’ and that ‘NLP is a model not a theory’ seemed to contradict these more concrete concepts. We ...

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Stephen Gilligan – An Archetype Master

There are twelve archetypes in her model, based on the work of Jung: Innocent Orphan Warrior Caregiver Seeker Destroyer Lover Creator Ruler Magician Sage Fool The idea of the model is that human development needs us to pass through all of these stages. The ultimate goal is for each ...

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