Changing the way we define ourselves (our identity) can have some huge benefits but can cause some significant issues. A good way to start is to consider an important question – How do we define our identity? This could include:

  • Our perceived roles in life: work, family, aspirational, race, gender, or class?
  • A description: I am a.. winner, loser, smart, dumb, strong, weak, please myself, please others, fast, slow, victim, rescuer, rich, poor, healthy, unhealthy, beautiful, ugly, ok, not ok etc.

I personally believe that while some of these descriptions, may be helpful to our progress and sense of belonging, they generally hold us back. Our work role is a skill that we mastered that ‘society’ has encouraged us identify with (I am a plumber, nurse etc.). Our other roles are a choice – a fact we often forget or feel we don’t have permission to change.

Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
G.K Chesterton

However, identity is also connected to our very sense of existence, something we became aware of at a very young age where we were extremely vulnerable and lacked the ability to take care of ourselves.
Therefore, any change to our sense of self can be unconsciously confused with a profound threat – even if that change is beneficial and rational.
Another way to perceive our identity is more metaphorical – as a story.
This is the basis of the change process that I cover on day 2 and 3 of Advanced NLP Coaching in two weeks. The process is very gentle, so we can preserve all the good things we currently have in life and thereby enlist our unconscious to help the process rather than block it.

Here is some feedback from some past participants:

The most present, aware, truthful and shifting personal development experience I ever had.
Georg Wanek, Independent Coach

For me, the whole process has been transformative, through meeting exceptional people (trainers and colleagues) and learning to generate the results I wanted to create in my life.
Anca Rugina, Coach and Trainer

Absolutely first class training and venue. My life has been transformed and during that process I was supported and welcomed with warmth and respect. Outstanding!
Nigel Dyer, Director of Staff Development at Bishop of Rochester Academy

Excellent, I enjoyed learning more about how the mind actually works. Between life-changing moments and jaw-dropping experiences (that literally changed my life) there is always time for a laugh! 
Jeremy Mathieu, Director, ESPN (TV)

What is your ‘story’? Watch the video below where Robbie explains the theory of Life Scripts.

When I realised that my own script was leading me down the route to burnout I realised something had to change – and soon.
I share the entire process that helped me turn my life around, plus my own Leadership developmental tool on my upcoming advanced NLP coaching course.

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LinkedIn: Robbie Steinhouse

What to read next

How Do Beliefs and Identity Overlap?

8 Steps to Personal and Organisational Change

What is Somatic or ‘Body Wisdom’ Coaching?

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