Archetypes – The Key To Success and Balance
Understanding archetypes can be the secret to unlocking success and inner balance. This blog will discuss how these innate human energies can give an answer to one of life’s most important questions: “What is the secret of becoming your best self?”
Archetypes – A Deeper Understanding
For me, the answer starts with how our character was originally formed. We all have certain gifts or archetypal energies, while other aspects of our personality do not come so naturally. Archetypes are defined in the OED as ‘the original pattern or model from which copies are made, or the most typical/perfect example of a person or thing’. Thus they provide a great benchmark to understand ourselves, whilst also providing a road map to self-development. Archetypes are often represented in classic ‘coming of age’ stories – the hero or heroine must face some kind of risky journey to overcome their own specific weakness and gain some form of treasure. In NLP, these archetypes have been condensed to three main types:
Strength (expression and power)
Softness (compassion and connection)
Perspective (intelligence and detachment)
Those with a gift of strength find it easier to express their needs and set boundaries, they are often perceived as powerful and inspire respect. The gift of softness enables someone to be in touch with their own feelings and those of other people’s too, they can be nurturing and inspire loyalty. That of perspective can provide emotional containment and the gift of wisely being able to see various options, inspiring admiration from others.
The Shadow Side
As a general rule, each person will tend to embody one or two of these qualities successfully, yet are likely to find the remaining ones a challenge. Under stress, people will tend to inhabit two polar opposite shadows or potentially destructive manifestations for each of the archetypes:
Aggression or victimhood (Shadows of Strength)
Emotional overwhelm or feeling inert (Shadows of Softness)
Manipulation or feeling like a dummy (Shadows of Perspective)
Someone with a lot of the strength archetype may come across as angry or aggressive, however, inside they often feel like a victim. How we perceive someone else does not always match up to what is actually going on within them. This is true of the other archetypes too.
Archetypes that Shine Brightly
To enjoy the benefits of an archetype that ‘shines brightly’ means learning to live with the consequences of the greater shadow that it will naturally cast. I have a gift of being action-orientated (a form of the strength archetype); I have however, had to learn to manage this, otherwise my life can flip between aggression and panic, which is very stressful.
This is probably why I have gained expertise in mindfulness to manage my own shadows. Others with the great gift of softness often have to learn to manage the emotional pain that goes with this gift of sensitivity and intuition. For those with the gift of perspective, they can flip flop between being a puppet master and feeling like a puppet themselves.
Understanding your own unique gifts and learning to manage the resulting shadows can be truly life-changing.
Becoming Curious
Becoming curious about our responses, rather than letting them dominate us, is a vital way to learn to manage our emotions more effectively. Our shadows often have very useful information for us: they are a calling for us to face the parts we need to develop, which we tend to ignore.
They can also motivate us to create new strategies to better manage ourselves and become more self-reflective. They can be a powerful signal of our unmet needs.
Learn to accept your shadows, rather than feeling shame, disowning or repressing them.
Applying the Appropriate Archetype to the Situation
Play to your weaknesses. Often shadows emerge by using the ‘wrong’ archetype for the situation. Someone with the gift of softness / perspective archetypes can often be conflict-avoidant especially if they find the strength archetype a challenge. In such cases softness or playfulness may appear as shadows, such as overwhelmed or a manipulator, in compensation.
It is better to apply the appropriate archetype to meet the situation, even if it is a personal challenge, than to fall back upon a more comfortable area and use its shadow.
A Triggered Response
When a powerful stress response has been triggered, it can be far more difficult to contain our shadows. At these times, detach yourself so you don’t say something you may later regret. Try to remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
From Others we can Learn About Ourselves
Shadows trigger other peoples’ shadows (and other people’s trigger ours). A great saying from psychotherapist David Woolfson is, “Regression likes company.”
This is particularly the case with shadows – but it can actually work in two ways. If I feel ashamed of a shadow in myself, I can then find someone extremely unpleasant if they exhibit behaviour of that same shadow (such as aggressive, sulky, manipulative etc.). But I also feel drawn to people if our shadows fit together neatly like a jigsaw. This can especially be true in romantic relationships.
Conclusion
For all of us, there are some energies we can easily inhabit, and others are more of a challenge. This is especially true under stress. Even if it is difficult to do so, being able to inhabit the ‘correct’ energy for any given situation we face is a sign of maturity. This is especially true in how we react internally, which is the source of our own behaviour and reactions. Being able to tolerate our shadows, shines light on them and ultimately leads to us becoming our best self.
Learn More
For a deeper look at personal development using archetypes my Advanced Coaching with Processes for Personal & Professional Transformation is a three day course designed to help you discover to what truly drives you. The programme integrates techniques from NLP, transactional analysis, modern psychology, and leadership development using archetypes. It also includes a powerful transformational process that uses life scripts to explore identity and underlying beliefs.
