How to Manage Stress Using NLP.
NLP training can help you to manage stress or a highly stressed reaction, especially anger. Here are some easy to follow steps that can provide a healthy way for your natural reactions to be processed, but not elevated.
Follow the P. A. U. S. E. process:
P —Programme.
Events that pose no real danger can still trigger our survival strategies (fight, flight, freeze). NLP teaches how to gain access to another form of our programming – self-awareness. Beyond the power of our emotions, we are also able to notice from this detached perspective that we are having an emotional reaction. We can use this ‘space’ to choose the following calming process, rather than just react.
A — Anchoring.
This NLP technique is used to create a specific ‘ritual’ to deliberately regulate our emotions and manage stress. Stop. Slow down. Breathe. Learn how to build your own process to ‘trigger’ a positive emotional state.
U — Up to me?
How others behave or what happens in the world isn’t up to us, even if it is hugely concerning. Right now, that concern isn’t doing you any favours, it is better to consider these things when the emotional storm has passed. Instead, focus on what is up to you – choosing a calmer attitude to the event that has upset you. NLP teaches how to notice the language you are using in your inner self-talk – words such as can’t, must and shouldn’t. This shows you are running a narrative that is winding you up with unrealistic expectations of how things ‘should’ or ‘must be’. Let this deeper awareness of what is going on inside you, remind you to now ‘press the PAUSE button’.
S — Self-control.
Choose discipline over discharge. NLP training provides specific exercises to manage stress & reflect on what is important to you, your personal values – principles that you would like to live by such as dignity, integrity, kindness and grounded strength. Your ‘best self’ wants you to react according to these values, not animal impulses, but this requires some effort. Make that effort now.
E — Elect later.
At the same time, something has provoked that impulse to react which requires attention before you can let it go in this moment. Commit yourself to a considered response within 24 hours. NLP includes timeline techniques to project yourself into the future. This will provide the final piece of this process so you can ‘let go’ of a need to react now, as you have a sense of acting upon a commitment to work this out in the future.
A couple of further points I would like to make. Emotions often get a bad rap, when they are essential. No emotion is bad – it is simply useful information.
The point of the P.A.U.S.E. process is to provide a way for these natural reactions not to be further heated up to the point of explosion on others, or imploding within yourself.
Also, allow yourself at lease a 15% mess up factor. Sometimes when you are tired or in a bad mood, you are likely to forget all this stuff. You can then beat yourself up for not only getting upset but now have the added burden of feeling guilty about it. If you can apply something like this 85% of the time, you are doing fine and forgive yourself for the occasional mishap (perhaps with an apology if needed).
All of this material is covered on our courses.
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